


Blind Date

by Baby_Sweetpea



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst and Romance, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blind Date, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Depression, Drugging, Drugs, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Hurt Tony, Hurt Tony Stark, Internal Conflict, Light Angst, M/M, Natasha Romanov & Tony Stark Friendship, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Panic Attacks, Prompt Fic, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Steve, Protective Steve Rogers, Redemption, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark-centric, Tony-centric, Wanda Maximoff Needs a Hug, blind date gone wrong, drugged
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:54:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25240486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baby_Sweetpea/pseuds/Baby_Sweetpea
Summary: Based on the prompt "The Hero Show's up on the Villains Doorstep one night. They're shivering, bleeding, scared. There's also a slightly dazed look in their eyes- they were drugged. They look like they were assaulted. Looking up at the villain, swaying slightly as they're closed to passing out, they mumble "Didn't know where else to go..." and collapse into the villains arms."Only None of the trio are actually villains and it's a road to redemption and Romance.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 30
Kudos: 435





	1. No Drinks

**Author's Note:**

> Why oh Why have I started a new multi-chapter fic? Keeping this short so that I actually finish it this time! Hope you all enjoy!
> 
> Content warning for; being drugged and attacked, throwing up, depression, angst, panic attacks, general self hating and suicidal type thoughts! some of that is this chapter and some is next chapter.

Tony was in trouble, so much trouble. So maybe that’s why he showed up on Steve and Bucky’s doorstep late that night. They weren’t villains, hell, they were no longer even enemies of the state thanks to Tony’s hard work, but that doesn’t mean they’d come back to him, or even spoken to him. So he’d kept track of them, kept his eye out at all times. And then when a new villain had shown and taken him down, he’d dragged himself there. They’d moved close to him, closer to the avengers tower, they weren’t hard to find, even in his current state. 

It had just been a casual night at a bar, some random blind date he’d found in secret online. Only, apparently, someone had hacked the system and the lovely, tall, gorgeous man he met wasn’t actually there for a date, he was there for Tony’s life. Even with his paranoia he hadn’t sensed this coming. It was a high class bar, a completely anonymous style dating site, he hadn’t even been followed there, he double checked! 

So desperate to be accepted and have someone love him, after Steve walked out of his life and fought him over Barned, and before that the end of his relationship with Pepper, he just wanted one good night. So Tony didn’t hesitate when tall and handsome- “Rick”- asked him if he wanted to get out of there, he should have hesitated, should have stuck to his new “stay sober and don’t sleep around” rule.

Hindsight is a bitch however, and whatever he’d been drugged with to lessen his guard had already begun taking affect. So caught up in the sparkle of Rick’s blue eyes, he hadn’t even realised the cloudy sway that was taking over. 

They barely stepped into the back alleyway when the first hit landed, right in the middle of his lower back and hard enough to knock him to the ground and wind him. His hands, barely out in front of him, took a grazing to the knuckles, and even through the haze Tony could feel the pain of a sprained shoulder when he landed awkwardly. 

It was a blur from there, fist shaped bruises littering his body, cuts from rings littering his flesh, he barely managed to call one of his suits on and get away. Steve was closer, Steve would help, even if he didn’t want to. 

Which is how Tony found himself slumped against the doorframe, bleeding, broken and drugged, and barely managing to raise his fists to knock, loud enough to at least get someone's attention. 

It miraculously opened moments later, though to Tony, it could have been hours, time was irrelevant. 

“Stark?” Came James Barnes's voice, rather rough. 

“Tony? What the hell are you doing here?” Came Steve’s voice, getting closer as he walked up to the door. 

“Punk, wait” Barnes hissed, holding the blonde back as he got a better look at Tony. 

Tony looked up, the light of their hallway spilling over the blood of his face, uncovered after he dropped all his suit to the ground, drugs overheating his body. 

“I didn’t know where else to go.” He muttered, then collapsed at their feet, unconscious. 

  
  
  


XXXXX

  
  
  


When Tony came to, it was in a comfortable bed, with fresh smelling sheets and a heavy wave of nausea hitting him square in the face. He rolled off the bed in an uncoordinated pile of limbs and found a bucket by the bed, immediately clearing his insides into it. 

Funny, he thought, he didn’t remember putting a bucket by his bed. He didn’t even remember getting drunk. Hadn;t he sworn off of it? He tried to think, but still felt half delirious, and shook himself off as he sat up properly. 

One look around and he realised he was not in his bed, Tony’s blood ran cold. He wasn’t in his bed, these weren’t his Pajamas, and why the hell was he bandaged and bruised to hell and back?

“Easy Tony” 

Tony flinched and looked up with wide eyes, Directly into the gaze of Steve Rogers.

“S-steve?” He asked hesitantly, what the hell was Steve doing here, looking exhausted and sleepless no less?

“Hey Tony, how much of last night do you remember?”

Tony frowned, why the hell was Steve asking that, Steve didn’t get to ask that. But then he stopped and thought about it. Last night. Hadn’t he been going on a date?

“Went… went on a blind date?” He muttered, but it came out like a question, “I can’t remember? Why can’t I remember? I don’t even drink anymore”

Steve paused at that, looking down at Tony incredulously, looking a minute away from freaking out when Tony’s lost expression turned defensive. 

“Don’t give me that look Rogers, you’ve been gone for two years, I went sober well over a year ago so don’t act like you know me” and in his head he finished, ‘because clearly, you never knew me. Or else you would never have left me’. 

“Sorry, just, easy. You seemed pretty out of it last night, I just assumed…”

“Assumed what?” Tony snapped, “That I got drunk and went for a bar fight? Where the hell am I Steve” 

Steve sighed and sat down on the bed.

“My place. How’d you even find us anyway?”

“I’m Tony Stark. You really wanna ask that?” He snarked as he pushed off the ground and away from the bucket, legs shaky.

Looking around, he noticed an armchair in the corner of the room with a strewn blanket and a book laying haphazardly beside it. Had Steve watched him sleep?

“Right, forget I asked.” The blonde sighed, and the two awkwardly sat in silence before realisation dawned on Tony after a bit of thought about the previous night. 

“I was drugged” he whispered in horror, making Steve freeze coldly when he looked into Tony’s eyes and saw the sheer fear in them. “I went on a blind date and was drugged.”

His head hurt but he kept thinking, trying to clear more memories of the night. 

“Radeck? Rock? No.. No his name was Rick…” Tony shivered, hauling air into his lungs. Now was not the time for a panic attack.

  
  
  
  
  


“Tony, it’s okay” Steve stood, edging closer to Tony. 

“N-no it’s not!” He half shouted, breathing coming faster. 

“I don’t even remember half of what happened Steve! I was drugged by a date and had the hell beaten out of me, clearly! Then obviously somehow showed up here! How’d I even get here!”

“Your suit was in pieces around you when you showed up” Came a gruff voice behind him. 

Tony flinched hard, falling back to the ground and curling up at the foot of the bed. He couldn’t breath, there was no air and he couldn’t breath. Was that water? It had to be water, filling up his lungs and stopping him from breathing. 

“Shhhh, shhh, you’re okay” A delicate female voice rang in his ears, over the sound of rushing water and crying. Like a snap, his airways cleared and he stopped panicking, in front of him sat Wanda, unsure but still there. Behind her was James Barned and Steve, then behind them stood Steve’s friend, Sam? And Natasha, who looked fresh from the Avengers tower and worried. 

“I-” He swallowed hard and looked away. He hadn’t realised they were all here. And now they were all here to witness one of his many meltdowns. 

“How long has this been happening stark?” Wanda asked. 

“Get out of my head” He growled back at her, shaking like a leaf. 

“You could have found us sooner, we weren’t exactly hiding” Bucky said, and Nat pushed past him, hard, and forced them all out till it was just her and Tony. 

“Steve Called me” She said in explanation, sitting down beside him, “Why didn’t you come back to the tower?”

“I don’t know” He pushed out, still curled up and shaking. She wrapped an arm around him. 

“I just don’t remember Nat.”

He felt dizzy, felt like he had been losing time and everything was going too fast. He leant into Natasha and closed his eyes.

  
  
  


Xxxx

Steve Turned to Bucky when Natasha took Tony back to the Avengers tower, exhaustion in his eyes. 

“He was drugged, he remembered nothing but that he was on a blind date with some guy named Rick” He slumped at the kitchen island bench, head in his hands. 

After getting Bucky back, getting his head right, they’d come back to New York, and they’d spoken a lot. So Bucky knew what Steve’s dilemma’s were. Knew what he was thinking and what it was that was wrong in his head and the thoughts that were fighting each other for attention in there.

“You couldnt’a know he liked men too Stevie” The ex-assassin murmured in comfort, rubbing his boyfriend's back soothingly and picking the least dangerous topic off the list to go with. 

“I… I don’t even know what to Think anymore Buck, I fell in love with him, hoped he loved me too. You came back, I still loved you no matter what, he tried to kill you. He got us taken off of the criminal charges, he helped behind the scenes and never came to us to admit it even though he really did know where we were this whole time. Then when he does show up, he was drugged, and a different man than I remembered?”

“To be fair, I killed his parents and he’s a troubled man. We didn’t exactly give him much in return. ‘Sides, I guess you’re just cursed to falling for men that go and change for the worst, ' Bucky sighed, and then took a seat next to Steve. 

“He’s been like that since you left him to die in Siberia” Wanda said quietly from the kitchen doorway, nervous about interrupting. 

Steve felt his heart drop, looking up to her. 

“What?”

“I may have gone through his mind, just a bit,” she said, stepping up to the bench like a child who had done something wrong. “He was always a mess, but after that, he just… got worse. Panic attacks are regular, he doesn’t drink anymore because of the negative effect it has on him, sometimes he eats normally, sometimes he goes days without eating like some kind of a self punishment.” 

She sounded young, confused, scared. She had hated Stark for what he’d done to her, but now she had seen things from his perspective and it was unravelling her. 

“We… we should probably go to the tower.” Steve said, shoulders slumping.

“Not yet punk, gotta give ‘im time to recover, then we can all go. It’s never too late.”

“Might be with him” He sighed, but really, he hoped that he was wrong.

  
  
  



	2. The start, again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky pay a visit to their broken resident tin man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wrote up the chapter, and realised I'm going to need at least one more if I don't want to skip through this too fast. Somehow it ended up a fix-it fic based on the prompt. Oops, oh well, thanks for waiting, hope you enjoy!

A whole week passed with Tony safely tucked away in the tower, practically living in his workshop, ignoring life, responsibilities and whatever else was being thrown his way. He did speak to Nat though, about her being in contact with Steve, she admitted it was mainly for Clint, who had apparently been in contact with the not-as-dead-as-we-thought Agent Coulson. Tony was pissed about that one, but it did provide him a distraction from the whole “I was drugged” Episode he felt like he was reliving again. Why did it always have to be him?

“Maybe I should just quit fame and avengers and whatever and have a cottage in the woods where I make machines that make magic look real” He said out loud to himself as he stood up from his latest invention. 

“One, you’d never survive the lack of attention, and two Magic is real.” 

Tony looked at Nat, surprised to see her reading a book on the couch of his workshop. He cocked a hip, placing a hand there and giving her a sassy look. 

“One, I survive down here with no attention but the bot kids, and two, it’s not magic if it’s not stark magic” 

Nat smiled a little, still looking at her book. 

“You’d forget to feed yourself and we’d never hear from you again” She teased.

“No one would ever hear from me anyway, tony stark totally out” He made a mimic of a peace sign, a sad reminder of his past, and sighed heavily, sitting back in his chair with a thump. 

“Mr. Stark, we have guests requesting to talk to you” Friday chimed, cutting out the low music that had been playing in the background. 

“Who?”

“Mr. Steven Rogers and a James Barnes” She replied tersely, as if an AI could even be terse.

“Let them up” He swallowed hard. Nat looked surprised. 

“You’re actually letting them in?” She asked as she stood, following Tony to the lifts and heading to the common floor.

“I’ve been waiting for them to show up since they moved back to NYC,even more so after…” He trailed off as he walked into the lounge, empty for the moment. 

“Coffee” he muttered to himself. He had to have something to do when they walked in, had to make himself appear comfortable and not majorly traumatised or some shit. 

He had to do better. 

Tony had his back turned to them when they walked in, but he felt it in the way the atmosphere turned heavy. He felt it in the two sets of eyes burning into his back. 

“Nat” Steve greeted the assassin, and stood stiffly before the kitchen, watching and waiting to be acknowledged by Tony. 

“Didn’t think you’d come home so soon” Tony started after a breath, as though nothing were wrong, “Surprised you didn’t bring the rest of the toddlers in tow”

He faced them, coffee in hand, saw the lost look on Steve’s face and the curious look on Barnes’s. 

“Option 3 it is then” the ex soldier mused, moving slowly and taking a seat at the table. Tony knew the slow movement was for his benefit, they’d never exactly met on good terms. 

“Option 3?” He asked, taking a seat at the other end of the table, Nat sitting next to him as Steve took a seat next to his boyfriend, uncertain. 

“Steve paced for most of the week before we came here” Bucky shrugged, “Came up with three ways that you’d respond.”

“And what were the first two?” He didn’t know whether to be offended or hurt because Steve really just knew him, knew there were only three ways he could have responded. 

“You already know” Steve whispered, baby blues peering at Tony. 

Number 3 was definitely that he acted calm, like nothing had ever been wrong, showing that he was ready to move on. It was the one that threw Steve out the most, the one where he wasn’t sure if Tony would explode or avoid them. And really, those were just options 1 and 2, weren’t they? Either he’d yell and rage, cry, show his hurt, throw some barbs, or that he wouldn’t let them in at all, would avoid them and everything to do with them. 

“Despite what I did you still let me in and took care of me” Tony said instead, shrugging and taking a deep drink of his coffee. He specifically avoided mentioning the event that got them to their current position. 

“Your response was pretty reasonable, considering what I did,” Bucky said before Steve. 

Tony stayed quiet, eyeing the other brunette up. He could see why Steve had been so drawn in from the start, could see what was the man he was before and not the soldier Tony had meant. Bucky looked back, eyes him up just as much now that he wasn’t having a panic attack on their bedroom floor. Tony could tell he had his own hell going on his mind, his own torment, and a lot of self blame. Tony was a kindred soul in that respect.

“Let’s say, for the sake of… Well, that we were all wrong. I overreacted and wasn’t thinking, Steve betrayed everyone and wasn’t open to much talking and wasn’t thinking either. You were the unfortunate party caught in the middle, along with everyone else” Tony waved, moving his hand fast and clenching the cup again to hide his shaking. 

Both the soldiers saw it, Steve’s eyes glued to his hands, Bucky frowning slightly, and Nat watching the proceedings silently, until- 

“Not to mention Steve walking out on everything and Everyone” Natasha put emphasis on everyone, glancing at Tony specifically, ignoring the nearly wounded noise Steve let out. 

Tony shifted uncomfortably, feeling the tightness creeping up on his chest. This was probably enough for today, he’d made an appearance, said some things, it was enough, right? He thought so at least. So Tony stood, and walked around the table to Bucky, who looked more relaxed than when he had first walked in, Steven looked both sad and on edge. Tony stuck a hand out to Bucky, who took and shook it after a moment of hesitation. 

“Nice to officially meet you Barnes. You can either have the floor with Steve or the one under it if you want your own space. I have work to do”

And with that he left, leaving the pair looking like they’d been swept up in a hurricane and spat out again. They did always say Tony had a bit of a whirlwind personality.

It wasn’t until he reached the safety of his lab did his shoulders slump and his chest loosen a bit. He couldn’t handle the way Steve looked at him, like before he’d walked out of Tony’s life, before he’d betrayed him. He looked at Tony the same way he’d looked at him the night Tony had been hurt in the lap, worried and longing, like he wanted to help and hold him. That’s why tony had thought… he had thought… maybe he had a chance with Steve. He found out soon enough it was a dream. And now he was back with the man who was essentially his soulmate anyway. He couldn’t have that, not with Steve. 

XXXXXXX

“He couldn’t wait to get away from me” Steve muttered, looking at the couch on his level of the tower after Nat had dropped them off there with a stern look, reliving memories he had there. 

This couch, where he’d watched movies with Tony, drawn pictures of Tony tinkering with something on the couch across from him. This apartment where he’d woken from Nightmares to find Tony stumbling in to comfort him, alerted by Jarvis, and then Friday when she’d been created. 

“Give him time Punk, you were patient with me and I was a brainwashed super soldier murderer. He’d a PTSD broken millionaire superhero. If anyone can give him time and work things out with him, it’s you” Bucky patted his back roughly, a memory of the loving man he used to be that sometimes still shined through his awkward and gruff facade. 

“I don’t even think I deserve his forgiveness, how am I meant to get him back to something as simple as friendship? He hardly even looked at me” 

Bucky sighed, feeling a little lost. He was trying, but this still all felt very new to him. He went from having no personality for 70 years to having to create himself from the ground up with a rough idea of the man he was before the war. 

“Nice place” He went for instead, pulling a dry laugh from Steve. 

“Tony designed it, a modern version of our time, to help me integrate into the new age, get used to things. He updated it as I got better at things and learnt to pick and choose what I like”

“Sounds like a great fella” Bucky muttered, looking away. Everyone told him Stark was all snark and assholery covering a caring and hurt man, he could definitely see it, and now that he’d seen him out of battle, he was beginning to understand it too. 

“He is Buck, he really is” Steve sighed, turning and falling onto the couch.

As much of a drama queen as he was before the serum, Bucky mused. 

It wouldn’t be easy for Steve to regain Tony’s friendship, even less easy for him to regain his trust and love, but Bucky knew with perseverance and another household move, the blonde could do anything he put his mind to. As for Bucky, he had expected to be shunned until he could prove to Tony that he wasn’t the brainwashed man he’d learnt to fear. So then it was a surprise that Tony shook his hand, from what he had learned about the genius, he didn’t even like being touched. It seemed the man was open to certain things, had come around to him through distance and a lot of thought. He could, maybe, use this to his advantage, get to know the man and get him back to friends with Steve without just exposing them to each other nonstop. 

He sighed and stretched his arms above his head, taking a seat on the other couch. 

“So, when do I get the grand tour?”


	3. Adapt and overcome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made it! Took awhile, received some sad news and whatnot, but, I'm here and okay none-the-less. I ended up needing to write one more chapter, but as I sat down, started writing and didn't stop for over 3 hours, I got it all done! So here's a double update and a completion of this fic! I hope you enjoy!

Bucky’s plan started with 1 or so easy steps. 

1\. Get to know Tony. And yeah, that was it. He wasn’t about to force the two to become friends like some kind of asshole.   
Although he wanted to help, so his theory was that if he could become friends with Tony and mention Steve, in little bits at first, then more, the skittish genius could slowly adapt to Steve without ever actually having to be in a room with him. It was a brilliant plan, at least that’s what Bucky thought. 

The actual ‘befriending Tony” part would be a fair bit harder, and probably a fair bit longer. The last mejor contact event apart from Tony welcoming him had sent Tony into a panic attack, the time before that was a full fledged flight where they’d left him in Siberia, after him finding out the winter soldier had been responsible for his parent’s deaths. 

Bucky shuddered and scrubbed his hands over his face at the memory. There was almost nothing he wouldn’t give to be able to rewrite that 70 years of his personal history. Even just, selfishly, to not have been the one to kill the Starks, would have been better than nothing. 

“What’s got your locks in bunches, red riding hood?” Tony asked him as he sauntered into the shared kitchen, empty coffee cup dangling from his fingers. 

“Just a lot to think about sugar” Bucky responded, pulling his face from his hands with a smile in the smaller mans direction. Just play it cool Buck, he told himself, making a friend can’t be that hard, right?

Xxxx

Play it cool Stark, Tony told himself, he’s not the winter soldier anymore. And Steve fell for him for a reason right? Tony tended to like Steve’s friends, even if he was currently avoiding the man himself. He put his coffee cup under the machine to refill and after a breath, faced Barnes. 

“Anything you need to talk about? Or is it just a lot of thinking” He asked, hoping he made the right choice. 

Barnes didn’t say anything for a moment, looking him head to toe and Tony felt himself heat a little. 

The man definitely wasn’t bad looking, and just… who was he kidding, James Bucchanan Barnes was gorgeous, especially right now, hair tied into a low messy bun, leaning back relaxed in his chair, tight red long-sleeve, low hanging black sweats… He didn’t blame Steve for falling for all that. 

“Just thoughts rattling around in my brain, nothin concerning, at least, nothing for you to concern yourself with Doll” He finally responded, and Tony didn’t know whether to be offended or flustered.

His body decided for him, on a mix of both, as he tried to stand up straight and slipped a little, stumbling instead. Bucky chuckled a little and Tony, mortified, coughed and turned to grab his fresh coffee, practically bolting from the room with it. 

“Uh, yeah, good luck with that, later Robocop” He choked out as he ran from the room, blushing heavily. 

“Nice job stark” he muttered at himself when he was safely in the elevator going back to his workshop. 

  
Once safely in his lab, he slumped down onto the couch and places his coffee of a work bench, head against the back of the couch and eyes closing. He could make an idiot of himself so quickly. He pushed his fathers sneer out of his head. He had to figure out how to handle himself and his new and not so new residents, asap. 

“What’s up with you” Came a gruff voice, and Tony looked up to see Clint wondering into the lab, looking confident, but Tony could see the undertainty in his gaze. 

“Just makin a fool of myself in front of people again, nothin new sharpshooter” He smiled, and let his head fall back again, staring at the roof. 

H was surprised when Clint thumped down on the couch next to him, following his example and looking at the roof. 

“We know what you did, for all of us, for Barnes” he murmured, and Tony said nothing. 

“It’s why Steve dragged us back here, was hoping you’d know we were here and come apologise.”

Tony scoffed. 

“Oh I knew you were here. Apologize though? I nearly died in Siberia and no one would have known” He felt Clint flinch next to him, but continued on anyway, “With Steve around, there was no way I could really feel comfortable to going and talking to James. I don’t… I just…”

He made a noise of frustration when he couldn’t think of the right words to get out, and Clint nodded in sympathy, understanding. 

“Sorry I didn’t come back sooner. You were always a bro, always took care of us, and we just kind of… took you for granted then threw a tantrum when things didn’t go right. We should have let you lead, and learnt what would or wouldn’t have worked then adjusted the rules from there.” He admitted.

Tony felt surprised, to say the least, lifting his head to look at the man he had considered a friend before… everything. 

“I was too harsh, and worried. I had been so reckless all my life and then suddenly I had people at my heels, expecting me to lead, expecting me to tame and herd a group of superheros and assassins, people yelling at me for the death and destruction that we, especially me, caused. I’ve killed so many innocents and I wanted to make it right and I charged ahead with a plan that just… didn’t work, and it split us” Tony swallowed hard, averting his eyes at the shock on Bartons face, “And I’m sorry, Clint. We all fucked up, we did… and just… Steve and I, the fault mainly lies on us and I don’t ever know how the hell we’re going to work that out, if it’s even possible at this point.”

Clint was silent for a moment, taking a deep breath and massaging his own hands.

“I don’t think anyone blames you, Tony, not anymore” Natasha said as she too appeared. 

Tony hardly even jumped, so used to someone always being around to show up in a jump scare. 

“They should” he muttered back.

The conversation only escalated from there, too many apologies from either party, petty bickering, and then, by the end of the night, Laughted, rough housing, gentle smiles, and a friendship blossoming once more, like flowers blooming after a harsh winter. Maybe they’d be okay, but there were still others, and Tony knew it. 

It took him several days to make his way to Wanda’s room, her door open, and her gaze accepting. 

“I know” she said, without saying anything, and gently stepped forward to hug him. He cried then, into her arms, feeling pitiful and stupid, and undeserving of her open kindness. She had grown, aged since he last properly saw her, maybe it was war, maybe it was the acceptance of innocent lives she too had taken. 

“I’d ask how you handle it but, I think I already know” She said later, sitting side by side with him on her bed,staring at her hands. “Does it at least get easier?”

“Easier to forget? Yeah, Easier to remember? Not by much.” He replied solomly, and watched her sigh. 

“You’re not alone in this though, not like I was, am, have been” He struggled out. “Back then, Pepper and Rhodey thought I was losing it, the person I trusted the most tried to kill me, and the person who believed I could make the change the most was already dead. Here, you have people and we’re all here to help. Steve… He didn’t understand before, but I think now he does”

“He does” She said quietly, “Because of what he did to you he does”

Tony fell silent, till eventually Vision showed up and sat with them, already having reconnected with Wanda a fair time ago. 

When dinner came the three met Natasha and Clint in the shared kitchen where Nat was cooking something, with, Tony realised, Bucky Barnes. 

“Hey you” Barnes said as Tony snuck over to see what the man was mixing. 

Tony cleared his throat. 

“Hey, uh, you?” 

Barnes laughed and he blushed a little, the rest of the kitchens occupants watching them awkwardly interact with interest. 

“Were having Soup and freshly baked bread for dinner” Bucky said, still stirring. “Admittedly I only made the bread, I let Nat handle the soup” 

“Let” Natasha scoffed, “I had to fight him for it, before he cooked himself into a frenzy. 

“I’ll have you know I cooked just as much for Stevie and I back in Brooklyn, It’s really no trouble” 

And off they wen’t bickering, a smile falling onto Tony’s face without realising it. So this, this was Steves' Bucky, a smartass with a flair for food and caring for others.

Barnes froze when he turned his attention back onto Tony and say the smile. 

The two stared at one another, a smile slipping onto the tallers face, before Tony shook himself out and motioned that he was going to sit down. As he did, Steve showed up, looking unsure of his welcome. Tony didn’t really acknowledge him, and didn’t even let himself be forced into it when the other sat down next to him. 

Steve was tense and looked uncertain, everyone had taken to trying to slyly watch them, to see if they said anything to one another. Tony hated the air it made. 

“Hi Tony” Steve eventually said, rather meekly. Tony flinched a little, and took a deep breath before responding. 

“Rogers” was all he said. 

“Hey Doll” Bucky cut in quickly, talking to Tony, “What drink do you want with dinner”

Tony grabbed onto the lifeline fast, it was too soon to be talking to Steve without it being a necessary evil. 

“We got juice? Like, grape juice or something? Black current?”

“Yeah, I think? Let me check” He responded, and Steve watched it all with curious, almost wounded eyes. Tony tried not to look, the damn man was like puss-in-boots with his baby blues. 

“They should be in the left fridge Door Mr.Barnes” Friday offered, knowing it was always stocked with the juice due to several household members always hoarding the stuff. 

Peter liked to drink it too when he visited, Tony thought fondly. 

“Got it, and Orange juice for the captain” Bucky said, with a wink at Steve. Tony averted his gaze and focused on starting a conversation with Wanda instead, who sat to his other side.

Despite Steve sitting next to him, Tony started to relax, started to enjoy dinner and eventually let himself open up and laugh, even occasionally gave short replies to something Steve said, but never directly to him. It was as much as he could handle for right now, he didn’t even feel the need to push himself for more. Even   
Barnes, sitting on Steve’s other side, looked at him with something Akin to pride, making Tony’s skin tingle, making him feel accomplished. Gods he was already getting too close. 

He knew it for sure when Bucky happily made his way into the lab the next morning with a smile and some fresh muffins, All for Tony. 

“What have I done to deserve this?” Tony asked, rather pleased as the choc chip treats were placed next to him, and Barnes at least had the self awareness to look a little sheepish. 

“They’re a bit of a bribe actually” He admitted, and Tony frowned suspiciously until Bucky held out his metal arm and winced when something in it squeaked awkwardly. 

“Oh Barnes” Tony cooed, going straight for the arm, “You don’t need to bribe me to get my hands on this junk, it’s be my honour”

Bucky choked a laugh, sitting down in the random stool Tony offered him, far from the operation like chair he used to be sat in for this sort of thing. He knew Tony was aware of what he was doing, and he was greatfull. 

“What do you want? Just a fix or a total overhaul?” The genius asked, and Bucky let a noise of surprise fall from him.

“You can do that? You would do that for me?”

Tony gave him an unimpressed look, looked at the metal suits lining the walls, then looked back at the man, and Bucky smiled sheepishly again, scratching the back of his neck with his human hand. 

“Uh, overhaul?” He said uncertainly.

“Correct, ding ding ding” Tony half cheered, “Friday, scans plese” 

Bucky relaxed, pleased at how non-clinical everything was, and how engineer-like it was, he felt safe and comfortable. More than ever before. 

It was several hours later, when tony was deep in the current arm to temporarily disble i9t so they could get it off that Steve showed up at the door and just watched for awhile. Tony was aware of him being there but kept working. 

“Are you sure you’re okay with being armless for a few days?” Tony asked Bucky again, having been surprised when the other said he just wanted to get rid of it until bthe new arm was ready. 

“Very. I can still do things one handed anyway, getting this thing off my body is just, my last goal” he left it unsaid that it was the last thing of Hydra’s to free himself of, and he understood the look of respect that Tony gave him. 

Steve cleared his throat lowly eventually, not venturing into the room anymore, as though he was not even allowed in Tony’s sacred space. Tony was surprisingly thankful for it. 

“The others- Everyone- uh, we all we’re thinking of having a movie night, if you two wanted to join” He managed to ask. Tony was aware of the effort he was putting in to not sound like a demanding dick, and was fairly impressed with it. 

“When?” Tony answered, surprising them both. 

“In about three hours?” Steve sounded hesitant, and Tony nodded. 

“We’ll be there” He was doing this for the others, not for Steve. If he felt relieved when Steve gave them a happy “Okay!” then that was between him, and Bucky who had ssen the small near smile on his face.

Steve left after that and within two more hours, and a little pain on Bucky’s part, the arm was of and the stump left behind was washed, sanitised and bandaged by Tony’s patient, gentle hands. 

“Thank you” Bucky whispered, feeling a little unbalanced but free. Tony nodded, seeing the other mans emotions for what they were. Bucky stuck around, feeling glee as Tony pulled the junk arm to pieces and mocked it, laughing at Tony’s outrage and disgust at the crappy piece of tech, smiling when Tony threw pieces, rusted, dented, blackened from heat and friction, straight into the bin. 

“No wonder you were in pain, what a piece of crap” he scoffed after he’d fully assessed it and thrown the crappy pieces in the bin. 

“No more pain” Bucky replied cheerfully. He waited patiently for Tony to wash his hands and arms then together they left the Lab, heading up for movie night. 

“No one expects you to be there, you know?” Bucky said in the quiet of the lift. 

“And that’s exactly why I have to be there” Tony replied, his tone heavy. 

He hoped Bucky understood, from the other mans silence he seemed to, seemed to know what it was like to feel like the outcast and to get used to being with others again. Tony guessed they were similar in that way. Both wished they could take back so much of their past and make so much more of their futures. He guessed they would work on that now, maybe even as goof friends. Part of him almost wished for more, but he quieted and hid that part. Bucky was Steve’s, not his, and he wouldn’t even begin to deserve him, not after everything. The man was practically a saint. Bucky wouldn’t agree. 


	4. We could be

A few weeks passed In a similar Manner, but before he even knew it, he was snapping at Steve for normal playful banter things, snaps that made Steve fake pout or laugh and tease tony more, and Tony wasn’t even angry. The flinching slowed, but never really stopped when Steve took him by surprise. Bucky spent more time with him with bought Steve in tow, and when Bucky was there it made it easy for Tony to handle it, for him to relax and banter. 

When the arm was done, he left the tower with both of them for celebration shawarma’s, much to Bucky’s delight as he’d never tried it before and was more than happy to get one. 

Everyone was still on alert when they saw the trio together, but Nat was nudging him more often, checkin in with him, throwing Steve warning looks and making him look more like a kicked puppy every time.   
Somehow though, they ended up alone together in Tony’s lab one night. Bucky being out with Nat, Wanda and vision on a date, Bruce was back from whatever trip he’d recently taken but in some deep, jet-lagged sleep, and Clint was off with Coulson. 

So it was him and Steve int he tower, then him and Steve in the lab because it seemed Steve wanted to draw but didn’t want to be alone. And Tony… didn’t hate it, he really didn’t and maybe that’s what hurt the most, drove him do crazy he eventually dropped whatever tool he’d picked up in his obsessed haze and turned to the man. Steve was looking at him with a wide-eyed gaze, drawn by the noise. 

“You have this-this HABIT of worming your way back before people even know it” Tony started in on him, he had a whole rant and he just needed to get it out, needed to say it so he could breathe again. 

“Last time I saw you I nearly died because of you, then you’re here and you let me in after I’m drugged and beaten to hell and then you’re here HERE and even avoiding you doesn’t work because you’re really here! And I don’t know how to feel because you remind me of dying and abandonment and the feeling of betrayal but you’re also the only person whose ever been really close enough to see how I hurt and what I need other than Rhodey, even Pepper only understood me on a human level, not on a ME level. And now you’re here and knowing what I need again only this time so is Bucky, and he just gets it too, and I get it” 

The air and the fight dropped him so suddenly, his head hanging down to stare at the ground as his vision blurred. 

“I get why you left me to go after him, even after what I thought we… I thought wrong” He finished, quieter, hurt. 

He flinched and gasped when he was pulled tight into the blondes arms. Steve was shaking, or maybe he was shaking? Or many it was both of them. 

“I have gone over how to say sorry in my head 100 times, for leaving you, for chasing my past, for a man who didn’t even remember me or what we used to share. For leaving you right here and being so stupid that I didn’t even realise that there was a chance I could have you as more than a friend” 

Tony shuddered at his words, hardly able to digest them. 

“It worked out for you though” He sighed sadly as he finally gave in and hugged Steve back, “He remembers, he loves you, he needed you, you rescued him”

“And who was here to rescue you then?” Steve asked brokenly.

“Nat was, Peter even dropped around, you know, spider kid? I still got through, even with… everything that happened. I got through, Bucky couldn’t have alone. I’m not… I’m not apologising, but… I still get it” 

And he pulled back, Steve letting him go but staying near, watching him with sadness written all over him.

“I am, I am apologising, I am sorry and god that doesn’t even cover it” Steve managed to get out, hands flexing. 

“I still” He started, and Tony looked up, almost hopeful like, “I still love you Tony” 

Tony felt like he stopped, whole body, breathing, heartbeat, even the blood in his veins. 

“You- I… you can’t. Even though I want you to, you just can’t” Tony stepped back, happy and devestated all at once. 

“And why can’t he?” 

Their heads snapped to the door frame, Bucky leaning against it and watching them. 

“He’s your man, always has been, always will be” Tony said without hesitation, heart speeding up with the appearance of the other man, and with him walking into the room till they were all close and facing each other. A step from one another in any direction.

“He could be our man though” Bucky mused, and Tony swallowed hard as Steve’s breath hitched. “Well, as long as I get to share you with him too Doll”

And Tony felt like all the air really had been knocked from him. His mouth opened and closed, over and over, how was he supposed to respond to that. 

“As in, we all date?” Steve whispered, gaze hopefully jumping between Tony and Bucky. 

“Yeah, what do you Say? Will you both be my fella’s?”

Tony hesitated. Here stood the two men he felt the most for, and he was being offered a chance. He couldn’t let it slip from his hands this time. 

“I think… I think I could give it a go”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it gang! I hope you have enjoyed, I'm sorry for any spelling errors I didn't really do much editing so, it is what it is, hopefully it's not so bad that you can't stand reading it! Until Next time my loves x


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